beauty tip

Unlikely as it was, I found myself trying on a dress in a high street chain notorious for selling very large, mostly wooden, costume jewellery to middle-aged women. I’ve never understood the attraction of wearing half a tree around the neck but then I'm not old enough to understand. Another ten years or so and things could be different, I might be eyeing up my wooden coffee table and wondering what it would look like with my favourite top.

So, I'm in this shop, not because of a premature bout of Dame Judi-itis, but on a recommendation from a costume designer who claimed it was a good place for the odd ‘find'. My find was a surprisingly slinky silk dress and I was trying it on when I overheard two women by the jewellery display:

“That looks good, Rita, that does” the first tentative voice pipes up.

“Aye” says the tryer-on in a flat Yorkshire tone. She doesn't sound all that impressed.

“It's very…large, isn’t it? I mean, for a necklace...” ventures the uncertain friend, “Isn’t it heavy? All that wood?”

“It is that, love" sighs the wearer, “but at least it draws attention away, you know, from my face.”